The fragile female heart

How can one not love Woody Allen?

AUG. 3
As director one is part teacher, part shrink, part father figure, guru. Is it any wonder then that as the weeks have passed, Scarlett and Penélope have both developed crushes on me? The fragile female heart. I notice poor Javier looking on enviously as the actresses bed me with their eyes, but I’ve explained to the boy that unbridled feminine desire for a cinema icon, particularly one who wears a sneer of cold command, is to be expected. [...] I never like mixing business with pleasure, but I may have to slake the lust of each one in turn to get the film completed.

AUG. 20
Made love with Scarlett and Penélope simultaneously in an effort to keep them happy. Ménage gave me great idea for the climax of the movie. Rebecca kept pounding on the door, and I finally let her in, but those Spanish beds are too small to handle four, and when she joined, I kept getting bounced to the floor.

Excerpts from Woody’s Spanish Diary from the making of Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Hopefully, I’ll get around to seeing it later this week.